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Wednesday, 9 March 2016

When BIGStuff Happens to you, what do you do?

What do you do when you hit a wall with one of life's BIG Stuff events?
What could you do, when you feel over whelmed? Who do you connect with? When? 

Trigger Warning: For some this column could contain trigger words or phrases.

  First there is no wrong answer(s), feelings or thoughts unless self harm or harm of others is a potential.

Second each of us use language differently. So words and phrases that I find easy to use  and 100% acceptable you might not enjoy or find mildly to very disrespectful. I look forward to a respectful discussion if any of the content you find here you disagree with.

So, all words and phrases used here have been used with respect by others in conversation with me as their coach, trainer, friend and or neighbour.  Do let me know what you think.

Many of them I've heard many times and a few are relatively new to me 

So what do you do ... what have you done, what should you do to support yourself when life's   BIGStuff challenges strike? That could be personal, relationship, family, friend, classmate, or a current or past neighbour.

So it happens to all of us. Something BIG happens and hurts. What do you do?

Create space that is ours and use quiet time for

  - read a book
 - watch a movie
 - take a soak in the tub
 - call a friend
 - write a letter
 - write in your journal
 - visit a friend
 - go to a special spot for reflection 
 - calming through steady movement or stillness via music, sounds of nature, a mediation practise

Create and use active time for
 - energizing through activity and or conversation and or observation
 - go to a special spot to burn off some energy and unwind 

Get out and about 
 - a walk Around your floor, your building, your block, to the park, around the office
 - a walk and a talk  A good business friend Gail taught me this 
 - Meditative walk No talking 
     You practise walking with slow to mid range speed with a  steady pace & steady breaths
 - Yoga
 - Martial Arts
 - Hiking
 - Biking
 - Swimming
 - Hobbie

Going to the:

 - Therapist,
 - The Mental Health Expert,  
 - The Crazy Doctor,
 - The Stretch Coach as in stretch thinking and feeling into better patterns 
 - A Wellness Coach
 - Mental Health Tune Up Coach
- Volunteering 

Going in for a:
 - Check up from the Neck Up! 
 - A Mental Health Tune UP,  
 - A Good Old Fashion Check Up
 - A Rant and Rave!!

Here I'm at a favourite spot enjoying the coffee.

After a time of reflection
 - make a list 
 - a call to action lets get the feelings acknowledged and thought out next steps to move forward

This is not supposed to be an exhaustive list.
However it is to get you thinking and moving into action for your sake.

When should you start? 

Why not right now?
I have a gift for you. No strings attached.
At this link you can down load a 30 minute progressive muscle relaxation exercise. 
Practise it gently, for at least 21days in a row then 3 or 4 days a week for another tow or three weeks. Then once or twice a week for maintenance. I had a coaching client (Who I only took on after I knew she was under a doctors care and had had recent CT Scan and blood work to ensure this was not a medically caused migraine) who had had 5 - 7 migraines a month and many many serious head aches each month. This was one of the main exercises she did to break the cycle of those darn migraines. Within about four  months she had them down to 0 - zero every month! She helped her mind/body create added ways to cope and an outlet to release stress on a regular basis. Plus her headaches reduced in frequency and intensity and they also disappeared by the fifth month. Exciting news for someone who had had migraines for 15+ years. 

Your helping develop and deepen your ability to notice stress and learn how to relax sooner and more completely. You'll be surprised at how effective it is. Click on The Chair a Relaxation Exercise and you can listen to the audio there and follow the link to download.  The Chair a relaxation exercise  It has helped me change how I now respond to stress and anxiety. I had a seven year battle with 2 bouts of cancer and a failed medical procedure that ended up with me having emergency surgery at midnight. This exercise can help you make a significant different in your life.

Here is another way to help you practise calmness. the exercise is called a:
Quick Tension Scan or a QTS 
This is another one to do for 28 days I suggest before every meal and about 10 - 20 minutes before bedtime. Then three or four times a week for maintenance. 

So this article was not intended to be a through list. It's meant to stimulate a conversation with yourself. With someone you can trust. Stuck. Not fun. Ask for help. 
So let me leave you with a  couple of question.
 - How do you see life's stressful situations?
A time to learn lessons or an ultimatum? For those of us who work towards seeing each stressful situation as a lesson to be learned it can be much less stressful. 
 - Who do you have on your support team We all need and deserve one. The time to build one is now.

So until next time, Imagine Yourself with more Resiliency for Life.


Michael Ballard specializes in helping people, schools, teams
organizations and communities learn how to become more resilient.

Hiring and Contacting Michael
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