How do we deepen our Resilience?

How?

By virtue of the fact you’re reading this tells me you have resiliency. A key question is how do we deepen, and widen our capacity to thrive?
 Falsehoods and Lies – These can wear us down and hurt us, as like the half truths they are not all accurate.

• Indicating that we’re what? Very Tall? Short?

• Never mind the 79 - 197 hours your practiced,

Michael H Ballard is a SME – Subject Matter Expert on Resiliency. He consults and trains with individuals and groups, organizations and communities on how to develop and deepen their resiliency.

 Let’s start at the beginning.

A key component of being resilient is our ability to understand, manage and nurture our self-definition. What is self-definition you ask? Good question. 

Self Definition is a compilation of how we’ve knowingly and unknowingly defined ourselves based on many variables. These include our race, colour, creed, gender, physical traits, IQ, EQ, how we where parented, our health  extended family, neighbourhood, workplace, educational levels attained, the media, community and country to name just a few.

Where  should we start?

Let us start with you considering this concept about Self Definition.

If there was a picture of you in the dictionary; not just any dictionary but one that is confidential and only you can see. Your dictionary only! Now, let us take a trip inside this confidential dictionary to see what you’ll discover and uncover.

First realize that there are three key types of items and memories stored here.

The first are the truths about us. However some of the things we think are the truth in time are not always 100% accurate.

Half Truths – Half Falsehoods

~ These are beliefs about us that can confuse and misdirect us as we lack clarity because of them. I.e. You’re just like your (Place name here) and will never do well in math. When in fact perhaps you’re not going to be a Engineer, or a Physicist, yet could do very well as a business professional using business math.

What to do about these three categories?

Well, several years back I mentored a young gentleman who’d lived on the street for ten years. After several deep and meaty conversations he shared the phrase “Fearless moral inventory”. Great phrase. I’d suggest a slightly gentler approach. Consider something along the lines of a “Deep and wide honest inventory of how have I defined myself to date? Then, what should be adjusted? Added? Thrown out?

 It is a process so it will not just happen over night. However if we have the courage to understand that we took years to get this way than real change can often happen in hours, days and weeks. If we keep practicing. The road to mastery is one built on excellence not perfection.

No where to be seen between Positive and Negative thoughts, half truths are the neutral way of thinking that is also negative.

So, how do these three key types of files in our private and confidential internal dictionary show up?

Generally people have them there as positive, negative and half-truths.

Words

I.e.

-          Stupid – Oh don’t be so stupid!

-          Amazing – It is amazing how you do that so well.

Phrases

I.e. -          You’re just like your …

Under weight? Over weight? Smart? Stupid?

Incredibly good looking?

-          You’re so lucky

the lessons you took and the mentor you had. You lucky? Not a chance. Luck favours the prepared. You prepared. You gained some mastery!

Pictures I.e. Images burnt into our brain of a very upbeat or very negative time.

Use caution of reviewing our failures and mistakes. Over time we run the risk of programming ourselves for more failures and mistakes.

Mini movies and sound tracks

I.e. They play over and over and over again if we give them permission. They become burnt into our brain of a very upbeat or very negative time. They can influence our mood, our relationships our happiness and our success.

Replaced the negative ones with new ones. Write a new script! Act it out in the privacy of your bedroom or Living room.

 We need to stay vigilant against a society that works on a negative asset basis. We’re consistently feed messages that if we just “wore the right clothes, drove a certain car, lived in a certain area, attended a certain school, we’d be smarter, more successful and more likeable. All not true of course. Yet the cosmetics, fashion industry and many others do quite well with that pitch. Not that a new piece of clothing is not a good thing. Just not a replacement of the homework we all should be doing.

Well with over 80% of what we think and are told framed in the negative it is no wonder we have “issues” around resiliency. Feeling comfortable in our own skin and managing our Self Definition is a very powerful first step. Foundational work some of us would say.

So nothing like the present to start to walk the talk about resiliency.

What area of your Self Definition will you work on today? The time is now to take this on and start to build and rid of what blocks you as you house clean.

So, until next time, Imagine Yourself with more Resiliency forLife.

Michael

Hiring and Contacting Michael

To interview Michael, book him for your 

next event or to contact him you can do that at:

Inquiry@MichaelHBallard.com

www.MichaelHBallard.com

You can purchase Michael's programming on:

Udemy.com video programs at:

https://www.udemy.com/u/michaelhballard/

 iTunes.com audio programs at:

https://itunes.apple.com/album/id997763796?ls=1&app=itunes

Michael’s Social Media includes:

https://twitter.com/ResilientMichae

https://about.me/resilientmichael

https://www.linkedin.com/company/resiliency-for-life/

https://soundcloud.com/michael-h-ballard

http://www.resiliencyforlife.com

Lessons from Miss Patton for a Life Time

Lessons That Have Served Me A Lifetime
Dedicated to Miss Doris M. Patton my Grade One Teacher


The intensity of our conversation was and is still a very positive experience as I reflect on it. I can remember talking with my Mom (she was working at the kitchen table doing food prep) about starting to attend public school like it happened yesterday.

Me in business mode

My Mom, Dawn, was very pleased that her first-born was heading off for his first day in Grade One. I too was very excited and pleased. Being the extroverted one that I was and remain, first day represented friends to be made, lessons to learn, teachers to meet, and things to experience.


Little did I know, however, that within the first three weeks of school my Grade One teacher, Miss Doris Patton, would quickly find several key factors about me. Some that have positively defined me and help me with career choices, others that would define a couple of attributes that in her words, “These will challenge Michael and will hinder him. Perhaps be hard on him during his time in school. However, he has skills and gifts both in the classroom and in the playground that will serve him well, once he leaves school.”


At the time, I know did not know how those words would later ring true. Seems yours truly has some interesting combinations of talents and “issues.” I do not like, fact is I have strong disdain for, the common phrase or description of strengths and weaknesses. I am more of a “strengths and challenges” kinda person.


What Miss Patton so quickly identified, dedicated educator and very intuitive professional that she was, was my eye-hand coordination issue. Printing and writing to me was then and today remains a challenge.


“Slow down, practice more, not so fast, try another pen/pencil, try again… .” How many hundreds of times did I hear those instructions during the first 10 years of school. Later in life, in a state of serious frustration, I bought a typewriter with Pica font 10 point and extended carriage! I am so sure that many of my teachers who could now read what I put to paper breathed a huge sigh of relief.


Miss Patton’s skills and the lessons that I learned from her that have served me well over the years are:
Pay attention to those around you. Each has gifts that often exceed ours in several categories or in different ways than we have.
Pay attention to your intuition. Miss Patton figured this out about me in less than 20 days of classroom time. Her experience, her attentiveness and intuition. First rate.
Third lesson and biggest of them all: Stay respectful. One never knows what the other person or persons we are living next door to or working with are facing. I never felt less than with Miss Patton. Her gift to me was to make me feel I could be and do more. What a gift she shared.


This was a very big gift to give a child just starting out in school. Little did she know how much I would need to hang on to her words for Grade Two. But that is a story for another time. Miss Patton offered up to me untold patience, kindness and insights into my future and myself. I’ve always held her up as a first-rate example of what a teacher should be.




I was blessed to spend a day at the track. High speed safety training. Interesting and exciting. A wonderful gift.


So until next time Imagine Yourself having more Resiliency for Life.




To interview Michael, book him for your next event or to have him consult with your group can contact him at:






To interview Michael, book him for your


next event or to consult you can contact him at:


Inquiry@MichaelHBallard.com


www.MichaelHBallard.com




You can purchase Michael's audio programming on iTunes at:

https://itunes.apple.com/album/id997763796?ls=1&app=itunes






https://twitter.com/ResilientMichae


https://about.me/resilientmichael





https://www.linkedin.com/company/resiliency-for-life/

https://soundcloud.com/michael-h-ballard

http://www.resiliencyforlife.com

Lessons Learned From Mr. L. Smith Science Teacher KCSS

Lessons Learned From Mr. Smith 

Respect Makes a Difference

Michael H Ballard of Resiliency for Life

I have had many significant teachers in my life. Some formally at the head of a classroom and others as next door neighbours, friends, coworkers, managers and some out and out strangers who I spent time with for only a short period of time.

Today though I wanted to honour one who in a very brief moment showed finesse and an emotional intelligence that both respected the student who had made a punishable offence twice, spared his feelings, made the point and showed the class his leadership skills while then at the same time ensure that the class understood the issue at hand.

I was in science class with Mr. Smith as the teacher. He was upbeat, respectful, and he made his topic of science interesting and it stuck.  The student who goofed and created this punishable offence was like the rest of us in Grade 10 just trying to fit in and being teenager’s explore life in all the ways teenagers do.

Expect he had bought porn to school and did not try to hide it. This was not dainty cute lots of airbrushed PG13 no brown paper bag required porn but instead it was very vile. Mr. Smith in catching the student grazing and lusting upon the pictures firmly asked him to bring it up to the front of the room with the magazine “Closed” so as to not offend anyone.

He then proceeded to ask the student why he felt the need to look at such a magazine in a public place. Did he not realize that some would find it offensive?

So Mr. Smith then ask the student to throw it in the wastebasket. The teacher then asked him why he didn’t invest his time in actually talking to a few of the young ladies in the school. Because if you invest your time talking with them instead of objectifying some of them, when the time is right, and you’re the right age amazing things could happen, with the right young lady with you.

Now you have to know that Mr. Smith was (and still is I certain) smart, hard working, approachable, volunteered more than most other teachers,  and his classes where ones we all enjoyed taking. However and it’s a big HOWEVER his wife was as professional and nice as him. She also volunteered at the school and was considered to be one of the best looking spouses that ever graced the halls of the school.

So, Mr. Smiths words rang very true that day in science class. The student in question had a hangdog look on his face and repeated several times, Yes Sir. Understood Sir. Okay Sir. Mr. Smith never raised his voice to make his point.  His words where well crafted, delivered with respect and he dealt with the student with dignity.

Thank you Mr. Smith for a First Class example of how to handle a behaviour issue with dignity and respect.  Plus he made certain both genders in the room knew that we should actually talk to each other. Connect with each other. Not objectify each other. I can remember it like yesterday. What a positive impact great communications makes.

So until next time, Imagine Yourself with more Resiliency for Life.

Michael

Michael Ballard specializes in helping people, schools, organizations and communities learn how to become more resilient.

Hiring and Contacting Michael

To interview Michael, book him for your 

next event or to contact him you can do that at:

Inquiry@MichaelHBallard.com

www.MichaelHBallard.com

You can purchase Michael's programming on:

Udemy.com video programs at:

https://www.udemy.com/u/michaelhballard/

 iTunes.com audio programs at:

https://itunes.apple.com/album/id997763796?ls=1&app=itunes

Michael’s Social Media includes:

https://twitter.com/ResilientMichae

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http://www.resiliencyforlife.com

Learning how to Bounce!

Learning how to Bounce!

Resiliency : What is it? Why it matters.

Michael H Ballard Canada

Resiliency is starting to gather more attention. Personal resilience helps us stay healthier, do better in school, have happier relationships, experience more joy  and do better in our jobs. Family resilience also offers that and makes for better neighbours and safer communities. Resilience in the workplace helps with staff engagement and retention. The benefits of creating, having and nurturing a personal, family, organizational and community culture of resilience is very valuable.

But, what is it? Resilience is our ability to “bounce back” from adversity. Life’s BIGStuff events that we all have happen to us eventually. Death in the family, loss of a job, divorce, poor performance at work or school, chronic illness, having your house burn down you get the picture.

Resiliency is a set of key factors we can all use to assist us stay safer and move forward and often create more successful outcomes.  There are two major parts to Resiliency. Inner and outer resilience. Inner resilience includes the beliefs you hold to be true,  your problem solving skills, and the goals you’ve set for yourself. Outer resilience includes the values of the community you live in, teams you’ve built around yourself, the education you have, the support you have from family to name just  a few.

So how do we get more? Well to further develop and deepen our inner resiliency a key place to start includes: -  Our self control. Moderation is a very powerful factor in being resilient. Our resistance to temptation, our restraint to over doing things is a great place to start. More on this in a future column. 

To further develop our outer resiliency developing and deepening trusting relationships with people who treat us with respect, sharing time with others that have high expectations of us and them of us are powerful places to help us deepen and widen our ability to thrive.

Resiliency is a life long process. A key to me is that we have to set boundaries and  expectations of our self and with others.  Being resilient offers up life as a life long adventure.  It helps us stretch into life’s BIGStuff moments and issues keeping us safer and happier and often offering us much better outcomes.

So until next time, Imagine Yourself with more Resiliency for Life.

Michael

Michael Ballard specializes in helping people, schools, organizations and communities learn how to become more resilient.

Hiring and Contacting Michael

To interview Michael, book him for your 

next event or to contact him you can do that at:

Inquiry@MichaelHBallard.com

www.MichaelHBallard.com

You can purchase Michael's programming on:

Udemy.com video programs at:

https://www.udemy.com/u/michaelhballard/

 iTunes.com audio programs at:

https://itunes.apple.com/album/id997763796?ls=1&app=itunes

Michael’s Social Media includes:

https://twitter.com/ResilientMichae

https://about.me/resilientmichael

https://www.linkedin.com/company/resiliency-for-life/

https://soundcloud.com/michael-h-ballard

How one event changed my Life!

2 powerful lessons learn from one of life’s BIGStuff moments

Michael H Ballard from Resiliency for Life

Well, it’s been many years since this happen to me. Yet almost every day I approach most every situation from the lessons learned from that life-altering event from when I was a kid. So many lessons compressed into such a short period of days.

It often seems like only yesterday that it happened. Yet, its’ been more than a few decades since that moment when life changed in the blink of an eye. Suddenly my view of things came to a rapid halt that included quite a bit of pain. Then confusion, then annoyance and eventually in the longer term quite a bit of clarity and insights that money just can’t buy.

Michael Ballard

What is he yammering on about? Well to go back in time before this event happened to me, I had learnt to ride a two-wheeler. I was about six. I’d graduated from a magnificent three-wheeler to this bright red and white two-wheeler. My parents had bought it off of my Dad’s sister Hilda, my cousin Jim’s Mom. As a six years old it was a sweet ride. It meant a chance to gain a little more freedom. Now, I could go around the whole block up and down the hill around the (cue joy and awe voice) whole block!

Little did I know after just a few weeks that bike would “assist” me have a life altering experience. I’ll be the first to admit I was not that athletic as a kid.  Learning to ride that bike took me on the gravel road we lived on dozens and dozens of times.  My father had legs like a marathoner by the time I’d finally learn to ride.  Up and down, up and down that street we went. Yet I eventually got the hang of it. Mastery of the bike came slowly to me. Learning to balance, peddle, steer, long look and short look, brake and signal direction and stop. Did I miss anything? Writing it down I can hear my Fathers voice from those many years ago like yesterday. He had the patience of a saint.

Now to cut to the chase. Out for a ride one bright sunny spring day a little girl about 3 decided to turn at the last moment and run in-front of me! I managed to avoid hitting her, however that’s when my life long lesson started. Seems I can avoid people but not so good at avoiding things. I went into a shallow ditch and went of  and over the handle bars. I don’t remember a thing after that for 2 or 3 hours. I’m told (Bike helmets where not yet made for Kids) I went over the handle bars and hit the only rock in the ditch with my head.  That created a headache like I’ve never experienced before or since.

I ended up with a concussion. Faded in and out for about two days. I was x-rayed, inspected, weighted and poked and prodded. Now the lessons started once my parents got me to the hospital.

A video capture from a program I do

Once I was diagnosed and placed in my room, I was supposed to rest. Sounds like a great idea. Except, I had a concussion. Protocols of the day then stated that a Nurse or Doctor would examine me for swelling at point of impact every hour and wake me to look in my eyes to see if one pupil was dilating more than the other was. Tough to get quality sleep if you’re  unconscious and or being woken up ever 55 minutes until you stay conscious and are lucid.

The first part of the lesson started about three hours once I was in my room. I heard adults say it before so I figured I’d give it a try. “Could I have a pill for my head ache? No, was the quick response. The pain location and type of pain helps us understand what has happened and what is happening. So, not nice for you but helps us understand if your healing or other things are happening. Wow, what a lesson. Stay in the pain and we’ll learn something from it. Don’t mask it over. Learn from your pain.

Next lesson happened within a few of hours. I was not floating in and out of consciousness. I got a roommate. He too had a head injury. So and observation room for the two of suddenly got very VERY loud and bright. What a difference in styles. My injury had me wanting complete darkness, no sound, and no movement. I was suddenly hyper sensitive to everything around me. My new roomy demanded (Hey he was also only 6 or 7 – so we have to cut him some slack) that the lights be on, the blinds open to see outside, then he proceeded to not do as he was told and stay in his bed to rest. Things got louder and his behaviour escalated.  Suddenly a larger bed arrived with stainless steel  bars  like a very over sized crib and he was placed in it. Then he got really very loud and angry.

That’s’ when I asked to be alone. By now he’d had many hours of crying, screaming and wailing. His angry was most likely his fears and frustrations expressed. But wow… my lesson and take away from this are that two people with a very similar or same issue can have two very different reactions.  

What lessons has life offered up to you during your challenges? Care to share with us? How have you used them?

So until next time, Imagine Yourself with more Resiliency for Life.

Michael

Michael Ballard specializes in helping people, schools, organizations and communities learn how to become more resilient.

Hiring and Contacting Michael

To interview Michael, book him for your 

next event or to contact him you can do that at:

Inquiry@MichaelHBallard.com

www.MichaelHBallard.com

You can purchase Michael's programming on:

Udemy.com video programs at:

https://www.udemy.com/u/michaelhballard/

 iTunes.com audio programs at:

https://itunes.apple.com/album/id997763796?ls=1&app=itunes

Michael’s Social Media includes:

https://twitter.com/ResilientMichae

https://about.me/resilientmichael

https://www.linkedin.com/company/resiliency-for-life/

https://soundcloud.com/michael-h-ballard

http://www.resiliencyforlife.com