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Receiving bad news is never easy. However, what to do when we get bad news can take almost super human effort as we process exactly what...

Showing posts with label success. Show all posts
Showing posts with label success. Show all posts

Wednesday, 30 August 2017

The Two Engineers

Connecting, Engaging and Communicating

I was about six years old. Dad came in through the door after a day of work with a spring in his step, and a little more upbeat than usual. He gave me and my brother the always wonderful hug and kiss and then Mom got hers. Then he could not wait to share that he'd had a most unusual day at work.


“Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much” 
― Helen Keller
I remember it like yesterday. He look Mom in the eye and the conversation went something like this:
"Well today one of the company's  lawyers, RCMP and my Boss and his Boss paid me a visit. I been asked to work on a project."
Mom: "Oh really what' it about?"
Dad: Well that is were it gets very interesting. I've had to sear and oath on the bible for a 40 year oath of national secrecy.
Mom: "Wow... very exciting and interesting."
Dad: "Yes, it seems I'll be helping build things like nothing I've ever worked on before"

In the weeks and time ahead Dad would come home and share the people insights into what he was experiencing working on these TOP SECRET projects.

I can remember this as one of his most insightful conversations with my Mom and I like it was yesterday. He shard his work experiences on communications, engagement, team building and successful outcomes. We learned that day that my Dad was a part of two projects. Each one equal in importance, yet getting these vital projects launched and completed where happening radically differently.

Project One was being lead by a technical professional who included the whole group in the decision making process. Dad told us he had a large roll of brown paper, He'd roll it out, stick on the wall, the floor or a work bench 9where ever there was room) and with his magic marker sketch out key points, drawing of various parts with time lines. Then he'd hand out tentative diagrams of each component. Then he'd turn to the group and ask for feedback on each point he's put up. How to make it better, faster, safer, more effective etc. Some might say he was interested in 360ยบ feedback.


Project Two was being lead by a technical professional who would come to the group, assign tasks, drop off the appropriate paperwork and leave. NO time. Busy, busy busy is what he projected (Perhaps feeling overwhelmed?). He  could be found in his office if you had questions. He as considered argumentative 

Well after a many many weeks of this behaviour from both leaders, at the beginning of a new week and a new shift Project One Leader showed up to congratulate the team that they where ahead of schedule and below budget! Great news. Seems those in charge where very impressed. The team leader thanked them all for their contributions for help push this vital project forward to ensure it was a success!

A while later Project Two Leader arrived called a meeting and then started to "tear a strip off them" What type of people where they? The project was way off track in all categories. Behind, well over budget, raw material, partial and broken proto type waste was over the top. 
My Dad was amazed at this professionals lack of insights or basic understanding of humans and how to connect, engage and inspire others.

Plus both teams had same individuals on them, except for the Leaders. Hmmmm.

So, I ask myself daily who am I and how do others see me?
How do others see you?

Until next time, Imagine Yourself deepening your Resiliency for life.

Michael

To hire Michael to present at your next event contact him through your favourite speakers bureau or agency.









Wednesday, 22 February 2017

Perspective & Thought Distortions Prt 1

Perspective, Thought Distortions & Cognitive Distortions 


Learning to filter our thoughts 
is a very powerful skill.
So here are some of the common Thought Distortions I see my clients have:

Keep Things in Perspective. Even when facing BIGStuff events that could include loss and grief, try to consider the stressful situation in a BIG picture point of view and keep both a short term and longterm set of outcomes in place.


Perspective. Avoid blowing the event out of proportion. If you don't, it can lead to what some call Thought Distortions. 
Thought Distortions can be caused in part by a very narrow focus. We get pulled off side by our pain and grief.


Learning to not think everyone is against us is
 a very powerful & healthy mindset to achieve 


Over Generalization In this thought distortion, we come to a conclusion based on a single issue or a single incident or single piece of evidence. If something bad happens even just once, we expect it to happen repeatedly. A person can get caught in a cycle of seeing a one time only event as part of a never-ending pattern of negative issues in their life.
Jumping to Conclusions Individuals who jump to conclusions feel that without others even saying so, they know what others are feeling and why they act the way they do. In particular, they are able to determine how people are feeling toward them.
For example, a person may conclude that someone is reacting poorly toward them but doesn’t take the time to find out if they are correct; or a person may feel that things will turn out badly, and will be convinced that their thoughts are already an established fact!

These are just two of the mindsets we need to take care not to fall into.

So, until next time I wish you a life filled with Resiliency for Life! Just Imagine Yourself with more Resilience.


Michael Ballard

www.ResiliencyforLife.com
https://twitter.com/resilientmichae
www.YouTube.com/MichaelHBallard






Thursday, 21 May 2015

What is Resilience?

What Can It Do For You? 
Consider having a set of skills that could enhance your quality of life. Imagine the ability to be happier, healthier and safer. Having been challenges by a concussion, chronic illness, 2 bouts of cancer and a life threatening medical procedure that failed I am very invested in being as resilient as I can. I figure I have to be prepared for what ever might happen next.
Interested? 
Research on resiliency at several leading institutions shows that it can make a significant difference in our lives. Resiliency is the ability to bounce back from life’s everyday obstacles and overwhelming adversities. The purpose of this article is to introduce you to the topic, and some key components. Researchers are concluding that each person has an innate capacity for resiliency,” a self-righting tendency” that operates best when people of all ages have resiliency-building conditions in their lives.
How do we develop resiliency skills? 
In the first part of our lives it is how we have been parented, our personalities, belief systems, our faith our teachers and our community. As we mature take courses, read books, watch videos, and model the behaviour of those that have gone before us that have shown resiliency. Finally, ask for help. No one, I mean no one is an island. Get a coach, a mentor or talk to a favourite manager or leader. Most people in our lives want us to succeed. Make a plan to support and nurture yourself.
 
What types of things build resiliency?
1. Making connections and being mentored. For example, resilient adults remember one or two people who made a difference in their lives when they were a teen. These adults acted as role models and mentors. “Werner’s nearly 40-year research journey shows that being emotionally connected with people in our communities is a significant part of what allows nearly 70 percent of people, in even the worst conditions, to thrive despite adversity.” (Brown, D’Emidio-Caston, and Bernard 16). Who are you feeling connected with?
2. Reading. Resilient people read. Werner and Smith found that “effective reading skills by grade four were one of the most potent predictors of successful adult adaptation.” This one reminds us to keep reading as adults. One of my all time favourite books to read is Mastery by George Lenard. It is all about the process and key steps of what it takes to master a skill. Something modern day society does not often acknowledge with our sense of entitlement.
3. Problem-solving, information and innovation skills. Resilient people know how to find and use information to solve problems. When faced with adversity, they will use a variety of problem-solving models to determine options for dealing with their problems. When was the last time you read a book or took a course on problem-solving or innovation? One of my favourites is Six Thing Hats. Six ways to approach life’s issues to solve them.  Mind maps are a great brainstorming and problem solving tool.
4. Social skills. The chief determinant of success for people in their social skills. Resilient people tend to have more friends and are more confident. They tend to be friendly, cheerful, good-natured, humorous and practice their intelligence. What are you doing to build and nurture your social skills? Emotional intelligence research tells us that those that build these skills can be over 100% more productive in the work place.
5. Life skills. Through fostering personal awareness, responsibility and decision-making capabilities and through focusing on each person’s healthy overall development, we know that this helps people to see possibilities and potentials in their lives and to reduce each person’s risk and increase their positive outcomes.
6. Hobbies and Interests. People who participate in hobbies and activities feel more confident, competent and positive about themselves. For example, hobbies and activities bring us into contact with more people and can provide solace during times of stress and turmoil.

7. Direction. Resilient people have a sense of direction and goals. What goals have you set recently? It increases our chances of positive outcomes. I believe in setting hard goals (dates, times, places, resources, outcomes) and soft goals – How do I want to feel, what do I want to feel and with whom do I wish to share the experience?
8. Taking care of others and volunteering. People engaged in “required helpfulness” are more resilient. People who believe they have something to contribute feel more empowered and confident about themselves. Mentoring, tutoring, being a peer helper, or volunteering promotes self-esteem and competency.
9. Participation at school, religious group, and in the community. Active participation provides opportunities to make friends and develop skills. People who have faith in a higher power believe their lives have meaning and they control their own fate.
Resiliency is in large part a choice once we become adults. Then again we need to know we have the choice. What will you do to day to enrich your life to be more resilient?




So until next time, Imagine Yourself with more Resiliency for Life.



Michael

Michael Ballard specializes in helping people, schools, teams
organizations and communities learn how to become more resilient.


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